Why True Love Is Hard to Find

There is no shortage of advice on romantic love. Therapists and counselors offer guidance. Talk shows on television often consider the subject.

ON THE Internet numerous Web sites claim to offer enlightenment on how to find love. You might be told that you will discover “fascinating and incredible secrets” and will learn from “professional matchmakers,” “relationship experts,” and “love doctors,” not to mention psychotherapists, psychologists, and astrologers.

The topic of love also sells books and magazines, some of which make extravagant promises. For example, one book claims to show you “how to make anyone fall in love with you.” Another offers to reveal how you can find “the perfect partner in just one month.” Is a month too long? Then another divulges how “in 90 minutes or less,” you can make someone love you forever.

Much of the advice comes at a price. And many people pay twice. They pay money to receive counsel. Then, when the guidance turns out to be flawed, as it often does, they pay emotionally when things don’t work out as expected.

There is, however, one source of advice that when applied never fails. Moreover, it discusses the subject truthfully, without making wild claims and unrealistic promises. Though it was written long ago, its counsel is never outdated. Its Author is both peerless in wisdom and matchless in love. Perhaps you already own a copy of this special gift—the Holy Bible. No matter what our circumstances or background, the Bible teaches us what we need to know about love. And its counsel is free.

Will the Bible enable us to have a good relationship with everyone? No. Some people will not warm to us, no matter how hard we try. And genuine love cannot be forced. (Song of Solomon 8:4) However, by applying the Bible’s guidance, we will increase our opportunities of cultivating loving relationships with others, even though this may take time and effort. This aspect of love will be discussed in the next article, but first, consider why true love is becoming harder to find these days.

Love “Will Cool Off”

In his great prophecy on “the conclusion of the system of things,” Jesus accurately foretold the conditions and trends of our day. He said that the world would be marked by lawlessness and wars—the very opposite of love! He also said that “many . . . will betray one another and will hate one another” and that “the love of the greater number will cool off.” (Matthew 24:3-12) Do you not agree that the world has grown colder and that genuine love is lacking, even within families?

In addition to Jesus’ words, the apostle Paul gave a detailed social profile, as it were, of “the last days.” He wrote that people would be “lovers of themselves, lovers of money, self-assuming, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, betrayers, headstrong, puffed up with pride, lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God.” (2 Timothy 3:1-4) In many lands those traits have become very common.

Think: Are you drawn to proud, unthankful people, to those who are disloyal, who will slander or betray you? Do you warm to individuals who are in love with themselves, with money, or with pleasures? Because self-centered people allow greed and personal desires to define and govern their relationships, any interest they show in others is likely to be selfish. Wisely, the Scriptures counsel: “From these turn away.”—2 Timothy 3:5.

Note, too, the statement that people living in the last days would have “no natural affection” or that, as another translation puts it, they would “lack normal affection for their families.” Sadly, an increasing number of children are growing up in homes like that. Often, what these young ones learn about love they pick up from the media. But do the media paint an accurate picture of love, one that will really produce better relationships?