Fun Time Again

Student1: "Wow! I like your teeth, It's like when we take an exam"

Student2: "Huh? What do you mean?"

Student1: "One seat apart..."

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Student: "Teacher, how did I do from the last exam?"

Teacher: "Just like your face..."

Student:"What do you mean?"

Teacher: "It's not quite good..."

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Master: "Why did my dog died???"

Maid: "Ma'am I just used laundry soap for his bath"

Master: "Can a dog die from it???"

Maid: "I am puzzled too, just after I turned off the washing machine hes already dead..."

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Your parents hate you when you ask for 500 pesos and they replied you with this "What??? 400?!! 300 is a big money you know! Where would you use 200? Do you think that its that easy to earn 100? I have hard time to earn 50, what more for 10! Alright, here... take this 5! Be sure to return the change ok!"

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During a game show.

Host: “What is the youths biggest problem today?”

Contestant: “Prohibited Drugs”

Host: “Why?”

Contestant: “It's so expensive!”

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Mom on the phone with her daughter.

Mom: “dear, where are you?”

Daughter: “Im at the hospital Ma.”

Mom: “(panics) WHAT?!? OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?”

Daughter: “Ma, I'm a nurse... duh!”

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my friend's Korean student went to Canada knowing only the most basic of English.

ne day, he was hit by a car while riding his bike.

The driver asked him, “How are you?”

The student replied, “I’m fine, thank you. And how are you?”

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Right before an operation, one doctor said to another doctor in front of the patient: “Remember our patient last week doc? I heard she just died.”

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two men drinking in a bar.

Man1: you know mate, I need to tell you this. Your mom used to be my girlfriend.

Man2: You're drunk Dad! Let's go home.

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Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

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loves this story: A man saw the girl that just turned down his love hanging with her life in a cliff and he immediately grabs her hand... the girl said "you are my savior", and the man said "you know what? there is a saying that if you really love someone YOU MUST LET HER GO"

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asks if you only have 3 strands of hair left on your head, would you prefer them to be randomly separated or in same spot?

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TAYO na ba? kung hindi ba gusto mo bang TAYO na? kung OO, sige, TAYO ka na at UUPO naman ako.

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Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'

Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'

Husband: 'How does that help?'

Wife: 'I use your toothbrush .

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I asked our yaya how much a kilo of pork costs nowadays.

She answered: "I have no idea, because I always buy 1/2 kilos of pork"

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One time our yaya was struggling to get something on a high shelf.

So I gave her a chair and said: “Here, use this.”

Annoyed, she said: “How can I reach that If I sit on that???”

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Girl 1: “Let’s buy dinner!”

Girl 2: “What do you plan to buy?”

Girl 1: “Uhm…dinner.”

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during a parade. man1: "wow! theres so many confetti"

man2: "your english is wrong, since its many, you should make it in plural form, add s to confetti"

man2:"wow! theres so many sconfetti"

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Girl: "This is it! We're breaking off"

Boy:"Thank god you mentioned it!" Girl:"Huh? Why?"

Boy: "Because Im very hungry I could eat a bear. Ok Let's go and have a break!"

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lol^^